Friday, 21 February 2014

Fat Frocks' Big Adventure

You may have already seen my big news on twitter but I'm telling you all again anyway because I'm so excited... I'm moving in with my boyfriend in about six weeks time. It's a big step for me, I'm more than a little nervous about not seeing my family all the time and moving to another town but I'm already getting carried away with home decor ideas. I've got a Pinterest board on the go for all the things I want to get for the house. The rent isn't too high so it won't stop me saving for my own home like I mentioned in a previous post (this one will be rented) but it's going to be such a big adventure for me. I can't wait!
Illustration of me, Martyn, Sookie and Buttons by Rai

I've never lived with a partner before and I can't say my experience of sharing a house at university was amazing so I've been trying to think of ways of keeping the peace and not losing any of the excitement from our relationship. I'm definitely going to try and do the following things:

Set realistic expectations - What are the daily routines that I need have accommodated? I like to spend a bit of time on my own and have loads of clothes, records and shoes so we have agreed that the spare room will be my dressing room and where I can hang out when I want to blog or read.

Communicate - Communication is going to be crucial in maintaining a happy, stress-free home. I will need to chat about any small problems before it snowballs and arguments ensue.I think I'm pretty good at this and tend to speak out as soon as I'm annoyed but some things aren't worth saying or upsetting someone over so I need to get that balance right.

Compromise - I've got a lot of bad habits and being constantly attached to my phone and laptop is one of them. I know that I'm going to have to agree to keep this to a minimum so Martyn doesn't feel ignored and I'm going to invest in an alarm clock to keep the bedroom a phone free zone. I'm also rubbish at ironing and hate doing the dishes so I'm happy to clean and do lots of cooking if Martyn takes on those jobs.

Be myself - Living at home means that I can hide my more crazy side from my boyfriend but he's going to see this when we live together, my unflattering fleecy owl pajamas and much more. He's going to realise that I love trashy shows like Fashion Police more than The Bridge and that it takes a lot of make up for me to look presentable. I don't think there's any point trying to hide this because it will all come out in the end. I definitely want to make sure our time together is still fun and plan date nights and time away from the house.

Maintain a balance -  Just because we will be living together it doesn't mean that we need to spend all our time together. I'm going to miss Sookie so much so I know I will be going home to see her and the rest of my family all the time. I'm definitely going to make weekends all about seeing friends as Martyn has to work then. I also go away a lot at weekends visiting blogger friends and this isn't going to stop.

Have you got any co-habiting tips for me?

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  1. I moved in with an ex and living together was challenging at times before it all went south for reasons not related to living together. The most important thing is really to communicate, never say 'I'm fine' if you're not and make sure that you both know what you're expecting from each other regarding chores, that was a big one for me!
    Good luck this sounds so exciting and I'm so happy for you!
    Nina from little nomad

  2. its best to act like your best friends sharing a home, i dont that but ended up married to mine lol x

  3. good luck gem! compromise is the best advice really. don't let little things upset you & always talk things through. living with boys is a pain but nice all the same haha xx

  4. Awww so happy for you, it is a huge shock living with a partner. When me and my bf moved in together three years ago I was so scared, like you said about your owl pjs, mine was the stupid amount of shoes I had... the shame! hahaha!

    I wish you all the happiness together in your new home... here's to new adventures!!

    Georgie xx

    Life in Loafers

  5. Aww, good luck on moving in with your boyfriend! I have been single for 6 years this year, so very used to my own space and my own time that I'm not quite sure if I'll ever feel ready to take that step again! I think everything you've written sounds very sensible and I completely agree.
    Laura x | Life and Lipstick

  6. Not gonna lie, I found it hard. We moved in together when we got married (we're not religious, just disorganised) and it was a bit of a culture shock. My advice would be start as you mean to go on, even if it means a good bit of conflict. Stand your ground and get a good split of chores. I do 90% partly because I didn't bully him enough to start with. Although your boyfriend may already be perfectly domesticated ;) x
    Oh and have fun.

    1. Thanks for the advice Sophie. He's pretty good with cleaning and helping out but will take a while to get used to I think x

  7. I moved in with my boyfriend just before Christmas. We were long distance before, so it was a massive change. It's been great though.
    Everybody has crazy things that drive them mental; like some people can't stand plates left in the drying rack, or leaving shoes anywhere other than the hallway. Share those things NOW. They seem trivial, but when you live with someone, they become huge deals.

  8. How exciting. Wishing you lots of luck with it. You seem to be entering it well prepared. Time apart visiting friends and family is important and being clear on chores you share. My ex definitely didn't do his fair share and it caused us problems. Date nights are a great idea :) xxx

    1. I'm going to be going home to see my mam and dog a couple of days a week to start I think, my dog is my little baby ;)

  9. Eeek exciting news! I missed it on Twitter because I am far too behind on everything. It will be life-changing, trust me, but in the best possible way. Living with Simon brought us closer and was the next natural step! It's been fun, but equally challenging. We both hate doing chores (washing up is always a pain in the backside), but when you live with a partner, you really learn to love every part that comes with a relationship. Domestic bliss MWAH! xxx

    1. I hope it's everything I want. Lots of work to do to make the house more me but can't wait xx

  10. Ah this is so exciting gem! I'm so happy for you!

  11. This is so exciting! I was worried about moving in with Mark but it is so much fun and I get a lottle flutter in my chest whenever I get home :)

    Maria xxx

  12. I think you've got it all covered there!

    As long as you do all the things that are on your list then you should avoid any major mishaps.

    You also need to learn a fair amount of tolerance which kind of goes hand in hand with the compromise part! Although there is a fair amount of "moulding" you can do when it comes to boyfriends I have come to realise that I'm just never going to turn Neil into someone who actively wants to do the washing up without being nagged!

  13. I'm so excited for you Gem!! Moving in with your beau is the best thing ever (even if you do disagree which way round the dining table should go - true story). My advice is to be kind. Drop stuff if it's not worth arguing over (not everything mind, I know you're not a doormat) and don't let your relationship turn into a habit! You will LOVE it! ♥ Claire at Jazzpad

  14. The best advice I was ever given was 'don't go to sleep on an argument' take from it what you will :) its so exciting :)

  15. The best advice I was given, 'don't go to sleep on an argument', take from it what you will :) such a fun milestone :)


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